IndeFENNSible

Somewhere, in a parallel universe…

The was some controversy recently when England when ‘Ryan Giggs’ decided to hang up his boots. Cash-strapped ‘Manchester United’ agreed to release ‘Giggs’ from his contract, when ‘Giggs’ expressed his wish to retire from football for personal and family reasons and to concentrate on the football training academy he was setting up at home. ‘United’ took a benevolent view, and considering ‘Giggs’s history of honesty and integrity released him from his contract. They also generously released his registration so he could play “a little bit of football” in his retirement. A week after announcing his retirement, ‘Giggs’ had second thoughts about hanging up his boots… so he rocked up and signed for cash-rich, title-chasing ‘Manchester City’. Neither ‘Giggs’ nor ‘City’ sough to speak to ‘United’ about the extraordinary change of heart, but technically no rules had been broken, so that’s ok. Of course nobody is suggesting that ‘City’ induced they player to retire with the intention of signing for them, but altogether it was most unsatisfactory business. Sadly the image and hard-earned reputation of one of the finest players in recent ‘League of England’ history was indelibly tarnished.
While ‘Man United’ understandably weren’t too impressed, ‘Man City’ and their supporters were happy enough with the sequence of events, claiming they had merely signed a free agent. No doubt they would be just as sanguine had Shay Given retired his way out of his contract and subsequently signed for ‘Arsenal’. And closer to home, one could expect a similarly calm and philosophical reaction from, say, Shamrock Rovers fans if Gary Twigg were to retire from Rovers one week and sign for Bohemians the following week.
The cynics suggested that ‘United’ had been naïve in releasing ‘Giggs’ and sadly they had a point. Though ‘Giggs’ had rightly earned a reputation as a player of integrity ‘United’ were seen as naïve to believe ‘Giggs’ when he said he wished to retire. The cynics tutted, and said that ‘United’ should have retained his registration or inserted a non-competition clause in a new contract releasing him from his old contract. Perhaps the cynics were right, perhaps ‘United’ should not have acted so honourably in releasing him. Perhaps ‘United’ did not deserve to be shown the sort of respect they had shown to ‘Giggsy’, in their naivety. But ‘United’s loss was ‘City’s gain, so tough luck, ‘United’!
(The events and characters depicted in this Spectator are fictitious, kind of. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely non-coincidental.)
Meanwhile, back on Planet Airtricity League, Neale Fenn's retirement after a solidly impressive final half season of League of Ireland football with Dundalk has proved suitably sedate. Instead of pottering around the house in his slippers, watching Countdown, Neale has been pottering around Tallaght watching football. Possibly in his slippers, we're not sure. His stated ambition to 'play a little bit of football' after retirement has been satisfied at Shamrock Rovers. He seems to have retired from goalscoring too. No mathematicians have had to come out of retirement to ‘do a little bit of sums’ and tot up a grand total of zero goals in the nine games Rovers have played since he joined. If Neale does come out of goalscoring retirement tonight -and he probably will- he might be best advised not to take a leaf out of Gary Twigg’s book by celebrating in front of opposition supporters. Some Dundalk fans might not be too shy and ‘retiring’ about expressing their views.